Testimony on 30 June 2019 by Sis Esther Wang
Pastor Justin: In our path towards heaven, we have to read the bible every day as it contains the word of God. The Lord has written his word into the bible and if you want to listen to his word, there is no other choice or way but to read the bible. So when you are reading the scripture, it is like a mirror which reflects and let you see what you must see, so that we can become more like His image. To be a Christian is to have the image of Christ. So if you see a Christian, I always ask, do you have the image of Christ in your words? Do you have the image of Christ when responding to difficulties?
Today’s testimony has greatly touched me and once again I have witnessed the truth of Christ, that truly he is a living God. Today we will invite Sister Esther Wang, that through her life, we can see the mercy of God. The bible has taught us in Revelations that we can overcome the devil because of the blood of the lamb and also because of the word of our testimony. Hence every 3 months we will have these testimonies and in our life, we must continue to give testimony through the things we say. Many of us are ashamed to testify when we receive the grace from God and always brush it aside as “luck”. In our faith walk, when we claim that its luck, we would have shifted the focus to ourselves and the surrounding. Sister Esther Wang, when she shared her testimony with me, I was baffled, besides kneeling down and thanking God, I had no other response.
Q: When you were young, you already knew about Jesus. How did this come about?
Sis Esther: I listened to songs outside of churches when I was young but I did not know it was a church. I once heard about Jesus and Good Friday and I just went along but I did not know the significance of it.
Q: Ten years ago, something unfortunate happened, could you share with us?
Sis Esther: I walked through a period of darkness and became an alcoholic. There was once I got so drunk I lost consciousness and unknowingly suffered a fall. My whole body was covered in blood and I was hospitalised and in a coma. While I was in a coma, I could not see anything or move, but I could feel the pain from within. It was as if I was bound by many things. Afterward, I saw many horrible things. It was like tree barks and roots that were surrounding me and I started to run until I saw a door which would not budge no matter how hard I pushed. I was terrified but I was gagged and could not say a thing but yet I could still hear voices and conversations taking place within me.
Afterward, I thought I opened my eyes and I saw a stranger in front of me and I was happy. However, he did not say a single word and his expression showed me he was confused about what I was doing and in a blink of an eye, I dropped into a bottomless pit where I could not move and that was when the roots were entangling me. Then I was brought to another place and I asked myself who I am, an animal or an insect, why can’t I see a single thing. And finally, I could see something from afar, I could see a lot of books like a library but I was still arrogant and challenged that I have many books and the books I see mean nothing to me. I was prideful so that I could hide my inferiority. I felt inferior because everyone else had parents and an opportunity to study but yet I was denied these things from young. I also saw a bed, it's like a Rubik's cube but it’s a triangle with a pyramid shape. It slowly changed to become a heart, and then a person. I was intrigued and did not know what happened.
There was no answer and I said there is no point having so many books because I cannot read. Slowly, the books disappeared and in a very far away place there was only 1 book which slowly came nearer and nearer to me. It was crimson red and it came in front of me. I could not read the title of the book but yet there was an answer within, one book is enough and all you need.
Pastor Justin: Our spirit is very clear that even after 10 years, Sister Esther Wang is still able to remember all these visions so clearly. The roots are like the entanglement of sin, that this veil has covered us that our eternal pride and how knowledgeable we are and the Lord is telling you that all you need is just one book, the bible. When we are stubborn and when God loves us so much that once again He speaks to us, He will allow some things to happen through any means to help us hear His word.
Q: When you woke up, who was next to you?
Sister Esther: There were 2 police officers next to me. I was later told that I was pregnant by the nurses. However, through the entire incident, I did not know I was pregnant. The police were there because they did not know how I was injured as I was very drunk. My nose became crooked and my arm was fractured and the doctor told me that my arm cannot be raised.
Q: When the doctor told you you were pregnant, what were you feeling?
Sister Esther: I felt lost. I had an elder sister, she and her mother in law came to visit me and advised me to abort the baby. I kept crying when I heard this advice because I loved this life in me. I felt this as a strength within me. The doctor said the heartbeat was strong and beating very loudly. When I felt this heartbeat, I could feel the presence of God. I wanted to search for God. Amazingly, before I even attended church, I already knew of the Godhead three in one which is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Pastor Justin: When I heard her testimony, I found that God is consistent but yet different for many. When she was young, she must first know there is a God then only will God do his work to get to know Him, so that she can experience and truly know there is a God through the heartbeat of the child.
Q: Being a single mother, there were many challenges. The most pressing issue was how to support the baby financially so how did you look for a job?
Sister Esther: From young, I didn’t want to live, I felt it was pointless. I tried to commit suicide many times by cutting myself. However, after my coma, I realised I committed a lot of sins and I had to repent and change. I cut off all contacts of my old negative influences. The sister of my ex-husband, I called her asking for a job. She said she will help me find a job for me. Before I went for an interview, I had a dream. I dreamt that I had an old friend who already passed away from cancer. He told me to go over to the other side. I went along and saw a whole of the mountain of graves and asked why am I here. I was so afraid and was awoken by it. On that day, my ex-husband's sister called me and told me she already arranged an interview at Raffles hotel. I was fearful because I was illiterate. When I reached the place, the shop specialised in selling pineapple tarts and I knew this was a job God had given me. There were a few paintings and there were many mountains and graves on the mountain just as I dreamt.
Pastor Justin: The grace of God is amazing because she is illiterate and she had to go through different means to learn from God by using the things around her. From her case, we can see the great hand of God to guide her step by step from the first moment until now that with life in her that light can shine within you and helped you find a job.
Sister Esther: When I was doing the job, I felt it was the grace of God. My sister gave me a simple to use phone and I went onto the internet and saw a cross and I was curious and clicked onto it. It brought me to a Taiwan web page and I went to download it. I did not know any words, but I could only recognise the cross. I listened to what the pastor preached and I really craved the word of God within me but yet I did not know how to read. It was then I realised how sinful I was and I wanted to be good. However, it is not easy and my first homework was to apologise. It was hard for an arrogant person to humble and apologise. At Raffles hotel, I was rushing to go home to see my child. I opened the door and saw an auntie leaving cup at the basin and the whole floor was covered in water. I went in to wash my hands but the auntie used the cup to splash water at me. I confronted her and the auntie accused of me starting the argument. I wanted to hit her but I felt a strength within me to apologise to her. I was struggling but I still gathered strength and I apologised. At that moment, I had goosebumps and I finally understood that I need to apologise to others.
Pastor Justin: When we apologise to others, the factor behind is to be thankful, which can remove the poison from within our heart. We just need to learn to apologise in order to remove this poison. If someone who is not afraid of death but yet afraid of saying sorry, we can see how strong the devil is working in her heart. But all this is because God is testing us. In everything we do, we must know how we can humble ourselves and overcome these challenges and these tests will not happen again. Sister Esther did not even know how to read but yet she learnt the word of God by listening. From knowing God to doing the word to believing the word, all this started from listening to the word.
Q: How long did you hold your job for?
Sister Esther: I held the job for approximately 6 months but in these 6 months I did not go to church and only listened to the word. Because of my child, I had to work part-time like to clean up for others and afterward I went to boon lay to work in a hawker and even worked as a canteen vendor in school. During that time, my son was very young and had only just learnt how to walk. Thankfully, I had a nanny who took care of him in our rented apartment. She was also my landlord. It was a tiring period of time but I could still endure it. However, it was the people that I could not understand and tolerate. I could not have conversations with them because at the hawker there are people who gossip a lot and they talk a lot behind each other backs. I did not want to have conversations with them.
Pastor Justin: This is an important work. In Acts Chapter 2, we read the holy spirit will guard our tongue to speak in tongue. If we want to bless, we must start from our tongue. Although you do not know words, through your experience in life, God has taught you every lesson and I pray from now on you can remember all this work. You have learnt how to be patient which is one of the fruits of the spirit.
Q: After your 2 jobs, you still have not found a church. Share with us how you found a church.
Sister Esther: I prayed for a church and a sister brought me to her church, which was my first church. At that time, I met a friend who was a reporter. My son and I were stateless and did not belong to any country and the TV station wanted to feature us in a news article. They wanted to interview me and publicise it on Facebook. At that time I wanted Leon to have citizenship because it would be difficult to live on in the future especially for education. After the interview, people started to know me because it was on a Tuesday report on TV. I refused to show my face because my son was already old and I did not want him to have any distraction.
I became an embalmer after taking multiple jobs where I specialise in preserving the dead body. I had to wash the body, drain the blood and to open up the body. So I asked God why did he give me this job and I understood it was because I wanted to commit suicide in the past. So brothers and sisters, if you have friends who are unhappy, tell them boldly Jesus loves you because people who commit suicide are terrifying. In Singapore, if you die unnaturally, they will find a cause and they will open up your body from head to toe so it is a horrifying scene after you pass on. Hence life is important.
While it is horrifying, this is not truly horrifying. What is really scary is hell. As we live, we know that this is only flesh and when I leave this tent, it is ok even if you cut me. Hence we must continue to read the word and pray because the inner spirit is more important.
Through these jobs, God made me financially more stable and I continued to attend church. One of my bosses through Facebook saw my interview and he approached me for a job. He offered me a job at a printing line and I am now a leader at the job where I am working at.
While working as an embalmer, I went to publicise my services to pastors in different churches should any members pass on. I went to the old Little Flock and auntie Janet was the first one who hosted me. Afterward, there was also a service for the elderly and I stayed behind to praise and worship with them. Afterward, auntie Janet introduced Pastor Adam to me. I called him and met him and that was when I felt LFC was different because my job was more flexible and I went to attend any services that were how I met Pastor Adam and attended the old LFC. However, I did not fully commit to staying and continued visiting other bigger churches but I was still not sure. Pastor Adam continued to invite me and I felt like it was like a king inviting me. I yearned for God’s voice and hence decided to attend to continue to listen to his word.
Pastor Justin: Now, not only is she regularly attending, she is serving in our welcome folk.
Q: When you were applying to be a SG citizen, you faced many challenges because of your past and some uncooperative immigration officers but through the leading of God, everything improved. Could you share with us about this?
Sister Esther: In the past, I had to report frequently every month to ICA but with a new officer in charge of me, now I only have to report once every 6 months.
Pastor Justin: This allows us to experience the full grace of God. So you started to apply to be a citizen. To my understanding, you need some time and contribution before you can be a citizen. But in this year's February, you received confirmation of your citizenship and had to take an oath. However, you were illiterate and could not read the oath.
Q: Share with us about your experience.
Sister Esther: When I saw the words, I started to shiver because I did not know how to read it. But God is merciful, He sent sister Han Nee to assist me in taking the oath. When we faced the officer, I did not know how to recite the words so sister Han Nee asked if she could say the oath on my behalf and she recited it on my behalf.
Pastor Justin: If you are willing, God can melt the hearts of people to soften them. We may face many difficulties because when I was praying to other idols, people will tell me they give me luck and I will not face any tribulations but when I read the scriptures, the bible tells me things will happen and problems will happen. I was curious, why is it that God will tell me these things hence as Christians even though we face challenges, God will give us peace, which is not from the world and we have already overcome the world through our faith. Hence through all this, we can see the faith and willingness to obey through the testimony of sister Esther.
Q: Do you have any encouragement for those who are facing challenges.
Sister Esther: I think if one day you face any unhappiness, you need to pray and you need to truly understand that God is always listening. I once prayed because I had no money to live on and I felt lost. I could not cry because I stayed in a small room and I just kneeled and cried silently and prayed but yet I could not make any noise. It was then I understood that He listens and I committed everything to Jesus and I told Him to help me and I know only if I believe, I can see the glory of God. Every word in the bible comforts me that even though you face challenges if you hear the words from the bible you will know God cares for us and when His time is right, we will go through it.
Pastor Justin: We just witnessed the glory of God and how great it is and that it is living in us. Today this testimony brings us to this verse John 10:27.
John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me.
We often share at this stage we must come to listen and to follow. We have a relationship with God. You must first know and through knowing you have a relationship and it comes from listening to the word and desperately praying. How many of us when we pray, we think about what we want or do we pray for his will and to commit everything to God? When we pray, we must truly believe He is a faithful God that He is in our midst and sometimes even as Christians it is difficult for us to truly come before God.
John 10:26 But you do not believe because you are not my sheep
The bible clearly says that my sheep will listen to my voice. We must be serious and believe and to train and to listen in order to hear God’s voice. As parents, who after giving birth when you see the legs of the child, you will tell him to walk. Only after a few months will the baby be able to develop. You must learn and you must be willing to learn to listen to the word of God. If you do not believe, you will not receive anything.
John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
It is not the voice of the world, but it is the voice of the almighty God, the true voice that guides us in every step and guides us to path of righteousness, which we can hear clearly from the testimony that this is the promise of God that we must claim and after we listen to the word we must believe. This is a law, if you do not believe, you will never receive anything. If you want to receive healing, then you must have faith because as long as you have the faith of a mustard seed, God can move mountains. As long as you have faith, all things are possible. Pray and listen to God’s word every day. It is extremely important for all of us to do this. If I say today I will give everyone $1440 and you can spend it no matter how much you want, its like air, which is the grace of God given freely to us that if you want to breathe you will continue to live. But I say, every morning, you must return me $5 for me to do more things and to help others. This is the current situation in Christianity. God gives us 1440 minutes every day and I challenge my kids every day, are you able to return 5 minutes to God to talk to him and to think about Him and to reflect and learn to be Christian? It is difficult for us to achieve it. If you are my sheep, you will listen to my voice and we have a relationship if you know who is God, you will do it.
Our relationship with God must have this intercourse. If you know this, it is very intimate, we will be like the bride of Christ and we must continue to have this relationship with God if we seek we will receive it because this is a promise because whatever we ask for, we will receive it.
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